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Home Schooling a Twice Exceptional Child
This has nothing to do with my book, SAHM I Am, but it’s something I have experience with and that is important to me, so I wanted to share some thoughts about it with you.
What Is a “Twice-Exceptional” Child?
This is a child who is extremely intelligent, gifted even, but who also has a problem that affects learning in some way. That problem might be a Specific Learning Disability (SLD) like Dyslexia or Dysgraphia (difficulty forming letters), or it could be Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD), Asperger’s Syndrome, Autism, or some other sensory perception issue. It could even be a physical problem such as blindness or cerebral palsy.
A child who is twice-exceptional faces the dual challenge of needing to be stimulated in their strength areas while also being helped in their areas of weakness. Often, the disability can mask the giftedness, making the child seem less intelligent than she really is. The child spends a tremendous amount of her giftedness and energy trying to compensate for the disability. This can create a lot of frustration and discouragement because the child comes to believe she’s stupid, even though she has the gifted trait of hungering for knowledge.
It’s hard for a classroom teacher to adequately address both sides of the twice-exceptional child’s needs. On one hand, the child often needs remedial help in basic academic areas like reading or math. But on the other hand, the child also needs to be challenged, sometimes several grade levels above their age group, in the areas of their strength.
It’s hard for a parent to get help for a twice-exceptional child. Many of these children who take an IQ test score in the average range because their disabilities cancel out their gifts. A special education department in a school may tend to focus on addressing the disability and ignoring the giftedness. Or they may be unwilling to deal with either one because the child is using the giftedness to compensate for the disability and is able to maintain at least grade level in school.
My Twice-Exceptional Child
My daughter Jessamyn is the reason that this topic has become so dear to me. We adopted her at age 14 months from China, and since then she has taken our breath away with her brilliance. Verbally, she is very advanced, and she has a high level of reasoning and is able to grasp abstract concepts. She didn’t learn to read early (because of issues I’ll discuss in a moment), but at the end of her kindergarten year, she went from reading at a second semester kindergarten level to a 4th or 5th grade reading level…in three weeks. Her comprehension is pretty good, given her life experience level. She is also very visual and speaks of carrying around dictionaries and flash cards in her head so she can practice them whenever she wants to.
However, if you ask her to read out loud, you will think I’m crazy for thinking she can read at an advance level. She is unable to process phonics. She can’t sound out words or spell to save her life. She recognizes words when she reads, and she understands them in her head. But to say them out loud? It’s very difficult, almost impossible, for her.
She also cannot remember basic math facts or other rote-memorized information. She still doesn’t know her phone number or address, even after many repetitions and practice. Handwriting is a laborious chore, and often her writing is almost illegible. She has a hard time paying attention, unless she’s doing a computer game or watching a video. We thought for awhile that she had ADHD, but since then, we’ve come to a different conclusion.
It seems she has a sensory processing disorder of some kind that has affected her ability to understand anything sequential. This is why she can’t decode words phonetically. This is why she has a hard time following instructions or reading a book straight through beginning to end. This sensory processing disorder has also affected how she processes things visually and her short term memory. She has a hard time focusing because she can’t filter the information her body is processing and ignore what isn’t relevant.
I sometimes joke that my hobby in life is trying to understand this amazing, frustrating child we’ve been blessed with. We’ve seen doctors, psychologists, school officials, and gifted organizations. We’ve gotten very few answers. I spend hours on the internet searching for information and articles that will help me figure out what is going on in that girl’s head. I weep over her because I see her frustration and also the tremendous potential caged inside these disabilities that seem determined to limit her. It makes me angry when professionals refuse to acknowledge the potential and make light of the disabilities. And I feel helpless when I watch her struggle, wishing I could somehow ease that burden and give her the carefree childhood she deserves.
Home Schooling The Twice Exceptional Child
We made the decision to home school our daughter because it allowed me to tailor the curriculum to her needs. We meet her socialization needs through activities like piano, dance, drama, and church. But because of her difficulty tuning out what is going on around her, we knew putting her in a classroom would be simply setting her up for failure. I have a degree in education so I felt comfortable taking on this challenge, but I often feel like my education did little to prepare me for the task of even identifying her needs much less meeting them.
Here are some of the things I’ve found helpful in my attempts to understand and teach Jessamyn:
- Utilize the Internet and research, research, research. You have to become an expert about your child and what your child’s difficulties and strengths are. Do not expect your pediatrician or school system to have all the answers. They don’t. When it comes to something as specialized as the precise combination of issues your child is dealing with, nobody but you is going to be willing to take the time to become fluent about it. That’s not a criticism of the professionals, just an honest observation. It will take hours and hours of painstaking research to study your child, and they have many children to care for. You have to take the lead and responsibility for figuring out your child.
When I’m scouring the Internet, I’m usually looking for two types of information. The first is reliable research from trusted sources. Look for national or international organizations. Look for sites that are clearing houses for information on your topic. Articles that come from professional journals are usually more trustworthy—they’ve been peer reviewed and must pass higher research standards. Sites that are routinely referred to by other sites may have a higher level of reliability.
Stay clear of anything that promises a wonder cure for whatever ails your child. Be suspicious of herbal and nutritional remedies. I am a strong proponent of using herbs and good nutrition, but these things are only miracle cures in a small percentage of children whose problems are actually caused by the issue addressed by the herb or dietary change. Try diet and herbal remedies if you wish. In most cases it won’t hurt. But be aware that most learning issues are far more complex than what a change in eating habits or a pill can correct. If the site seems to be extremely anti-medicine or anti-doctor, be cautious. Doctors are rarely the ogres such sites make them out to be.
At the same time, be wary of sites that are strong advocates of medicating your child. We have gone the medication route with Jessamyn and saw some benefits for a period of time. But we also had to deal with side effects such as sleeplessness and moodiness that caused her to be different than the person we knew she really was. It was a trade-off we were willing to make for that time, but when we stopped seeing progress with the medicine then we knew it was time to take her off. With that experience, I am not anti-medicine. But medicine alone, without a more holistic treatment approach, will not help correct the underlying issues that caused the problem. And depending on the learning issue, medicine may not be helpful at all. So be careful and discerning about the question of medication. Don’t be too quickly pulled to one camp or another.
The second type of information I look for when researching on the Internet is personal experience. I like to browse message boards and blogs or join email discussion groups. That sort of networking is vitally important because it gives you practical information you may not find in articles and journal abstracts. It also is an encouragement because you will discover that you are not alone in this struggle. You need to balance the information from these sites with what you find on professional sites, but remember—parent information is coming from people who have become experts about their children. They usually have great insights.
- Be willing to use whatever works. This means you may need to throw out everything you’ve been told about how to “properly” home school or educate your child. You will have to be creative and try many different methods until you find what works with your child. Don’t wed yourself to any given curriculum or philosophy unless you are actually seeing results with your child. In the end, it doesn’t matter whether you used the most popular method or the curriculum everyone else swears by, as long as your child can reach his full potential.
- Separate problem areas from strength areas. If your child is having difficulties with handwriting, and you want him to learn to write paragraphs, then don’t force him to learn the new skill of paragraph writing while he is struggling to form the letter “a.” Teach him to type. Then he can write paragraphs using a keyboard, and you can work on the handwriting separately.
If your child struggles, as my daughter does, with remembering basic math facts, but excels at mathematical reasoning, then separate those two skills. Have her practice her math facts, but when she’s working on higher math concepts, let her use a calculator or other tool.
Isolating problem areas allows you to help your child become stronger in those areas without holding her back from accomplishing as much as she can in her areas of strength. But it goes against what most of us have been taught about learning—that advanced concepts build on basic concepts. Normally, this is true. But many twice-exceptional children seem to learn “upside down.” What should be hard is easy, and what should be easy is often difficult. Our children need us to be flexible enough to allow them to learn however they can, no matter how unconventional it seems to us.
There are other things you can do to make home schooling easier, such as having a regular routine, using a lot of positive reinforcement and encouragement, allowing a lot of short breaks during the learning hours, etc. These techniques are useful no matter whether your child is twice-exceptional or not.
Also, be aware that in most states, home schooled children are included in the special education laws, even if they are not attending the public school. The school districts are usually required to give testing, therapy, and special help to any child in their district, from birth to age 21. This includes not only services for learning disabilities but also services for gifted education. Don’t hesitate to find out what your rights are in your state, and don’t be shy in insisting your child receive the help to which she is entitled. Being an advocate for your child is an important part of being the parent and/or teacher of a twice-exceptional child.
My daughter amazes me with her insights, delights me with her zest for life, and drives me to my knees in prayer for her struggles. I’m sure your child does the same for you. Please know that the challenges are worth it and that you do have the strength in you to help your child learn, if that is the path you decide is right for your child and your family.
Resources
Uniquely Gifted: Resources for Gifted Children With Special Needs
http://www.uniquelygifted.org/
Visual Spatial Resources
http://www.visualspatial.org/
Gifted Development Center
http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/
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