Character Interviews:

Dulcie

I caught up with Dulcie while she was at home, trying to get a load of laundry folded. We chatted over my favorite chai tea and the kind of chocolate chip cookies you buy in trays of pre-formed dough and just pop in the oven. (Because who has time to bake cookies from scratch these days?) Her daughter, McKenzie, even brought me a handful of cheerios she’d retrieved from under the dining table and various other corners of the house. I politely declined.

ME: Hey, Dulcie, thanks so much for doing this book! You made a great heroine. What did you think of the experience?

Dulcie: Well, it was definitely an experience! Being a book character is harder than people think. But it was well worth it. I had a great time.

ME: So what were some of your biggest challenges with the role?

Dulcie: Hmm…I think the hardest part was simply remembering to be myself and let you record even my most humiliating moments. Knowing that people all across the globe will be reading about my “all you can eat clothes” is sure a good way to keep me humble!

ME: Should I be apologizing?

Dulcie: (laughing) No way! Being a heroine in a novel is awesome. Of course, you might have asked me to star in some epic saga where I could defeat Ultimate Evil.

ME: Well, you defeated Rosalyn.

Dulcie: Nah, I just survived her.

We have to take a short break while Dulcie changes Hailey’s diapers and cleans up Aidan, who has decided to snack on the potting soil around Dulcie’s beautiful fichus tree.

ME: Speaking of Rosalyn, what did you think about working with the other characters?

Dulcie: It was one of the best experiences of my life. We all became such great friends! We’d get done creating a scene, and we’d all arrange to get together and go out for dinner afterwards.

ME: Without me?

Dulcie: Sorry. You were busy editing. (She gives me a mischievous grin.) Even now, Zelia, Brenna, Phyllis, Jocelyn and I contact each other several times a week. We’ve totally become like family.

ME: So did the whole cast of characters get along?

Dulcie: You’re wanting all the juicy details, huh?

ME: You bet!

Dulcie: Well, truthfully, there were times when even the Green Eggs and Ham girls got on each other’s nerves. It’s hard to stay on the same page with people day after day, even though you really love them. And Rosalyn and Connie…

ME: Yeah, I’m sure the readers want to know the skinny on them!

Dulcie: (laughing) Actually, they’re not so bad. They were a tad upset with you a few times because they felt you misrepresented and exaggerated them a bit.

ME: Hmm… I guess I’ll have to take that one up with them, then.

Dulcie: Yeah. But overall, I think we all had a great time.

Another break, during which Dulcie fields a phone call from her mother-in-law, helps McKenzie go potty, puts on a video for the kids, and starts another load of laundry. I watch this multi-tasking feat in awe and admiration.

ME: Now tell me, what about Tom?

Dulcie: Oh boy!

ME: Yeah, I know. Now dish, sister.

Dulcie: What do you want to know?

ME: What’s life with him really like?

Dulcie: Well…in a lot of ways, the book portrays it pretty realistically. But I do have to say, he’s a lot sexier in person than he came across in the book.

ME: Really?

Dulcie: Oh yeah! But we had to tone him down a bit for the publisher, you know.

ME: I bet.

Dulcie: But really, Tom’s great. I’m SO lucky to be married to such a wonderful guy. And doing the book with him has had an interesting effect on our marriage.

ME: How so?

Dulcie: Well, we’ve gotten a lot more honest with each other. I think the book helped us see how we’d been talking past each other for years. But doing the book forced us to work in very close proximity in a pretty intense atmosphere—you know, creating a scene and then having to go back and redo it until YOU were satisfied. (We both laugh.) And it was sort of like a mirror—made us look at how other people saw us. That was hard, but good.

ME: Well, I’m glad it was a mostly positive experience for you. You were great to work with. I’m looking forward to the sequel.

Dulcie: Definitely! It’s going to be a blast.

ME: Any parting thoughts to share with your adoring fans?

Dulcie: Uh…well, just to follow your dreams. Even if you are a SAHM or a SAHD. I always have longed to do a book, and I figured that with kids, that would have to stay just a dream. But I learned that I can pursue my dreams of being a book character and still be a great mom. That’s been a valuable lesson to learn. Thanks!

ME: Thank you for being such a great character. It’s talent like yours that makes a book really come to life.

The interview ends with the requisite hugs and warm fuzzies, during which, Aidan knocks over the TV tray and spills my now-cold chai all over the pile of clean laundry. Dulcie and I look at each other, shake our heads, and laugh. What else can you do?

Zelia

I sit in Zelia Muzuwa’s sunny, cluttered art studio, surrounded by photos, sculptures, pottery, and paintings. As Z and I chat, she is shaping and molding a ball of clay, while her children are spread out on the floor doing pastel drawings on large sheets of butcher paper.

ME: Well, Z., you and your kids were quite the hit in SAHM I Am. Did you expect your roles in the book to become as popular as they did?

Zelia: Are you kidding? When I was approached about doing the book, I was told I’d be a “supporting character.” I figured, with the whole book told in emails, that would mean I’d basically be reacting to whatever Dulcie’s emails said. I never dreamed I’d end up with a story line of my own, or that it would take off like that. I’m totally jazzed. But Dulcie and I did have a running joke about my secret designs to upstage her and take over the book.

ME:  (laughing) Which cast member do you feel you connect with best?

Zelia: Wow! Hard question. I really connected with the whole cast, each person in a different way. But I think that Phyllis and I especially clicked. We have the same zany humor and artistic view of life.

ME: Phyllis? Zany sense of humor? I think our readers will be shocked to hear it.

Zelia: I know! I know! It’s like the ultimate joke. The thing is, nobody realized until half-way through the book production that Phyllis has this very dry, witty sense of humor. She played her role so well, we really thought she was totally humor deprived. And then, one evening, after we finished our scenes for the day, Phyllis pulled out a book. It was a romance novel, only she’d had the cover doctored up to look like Tom and Dulcie. We were just dying laughing. Then Tom showed up, and Phyllis struck up the most hideous rendition of “Wild Thing” I’ve ever heard. Soon the whole cast was singing it to him. He turned about six shades of pink, but he was cracking up. So he grabbed Dulcie and the book and tried very hard to copy the pose on the cover. Almost fell and twisted his ankle. We got some GREAT photos of that evening.

ME: Wow! Uh…I had no idea.

Zelia: (grinning) We know.

Short break while Zelia rescues Griffith, who had been conned by Seamus into sticking his head between the banister rails on the step.

ME: Let me ask you a more sensitive question. Lots of readers have been wondering, “What ethnicity is Zelia?” Would you like to give an answer to that?

Zelia: (she sighs heavily) That was an issue that almost made me wish I hadn’t agreed to do the book.

ME: I know. What happened?

Zelia: Well, it was like this—I’m married to an African-British man. So naturally, in a lot of folks’ minds, I must be black. That assumption really bothers me, because it’s rooted in a racism that runs deep in our culture even in this day of tolerance.

ME: And you aren’t black. Right?

Zelia: Actually, I never met anybody who actually has black skin. It’s all been beautiful shades of brown. But no, as far as race, I don’t look “black.” I have African ancestors, though.

ME:  So what was the problem?

Zelia: The problem is that I also have Asian ancestors, and European ancestors. I think I even had a great-great grandmother who was Native American. I actually look more Asian than anything else. But I dyed my hair orange awhile back, which was fun, but really confused people! Anyway, the problem is that I’m a little bit of everything, so I don’t fit any nice labels. And that bothers some people who would prefer to not see an interracial marriage. The thing is, no matter who I married, it would be an interracial marriage. I am interracial.

ME: So how did you solve this issue?

Zelia: Well, as you know, we had a lot of negotiations with The Powers That Be. And just when I was about to quit, you made the suggestion that we just don’t even mention my ethnicity in the story. It was a good compromise, but it took me awhile to come to where I could accept it. I’ve never had to hide who I am before, and, honestly, it hurt.

ME: I know it did. I’m sorry. Thanks for sticking it out.

Zelia: Oh, I’m very glad I did! The book has turned out to be one of the best experiences in my life. And I’m not angry or bitter about the race thing. It wasn’t the fault of anyone connected to the book. It was a fear of the market reaction, and I can understand that. But I really appreciated that you made the effort to bring my racial identity out in the open in the sequel. It felt nice to have someone stand up for me.

ME: You’re welcome. It was the least I could do. I felt really bad about how everything happened.

Zelia: Hey, that’s how things go sometimes. Enough downer stuff. Ask me a happy question.

We are interrupted by Cosette, who bursts into tears because she can’t get the perspective correct on her pastel landscape drawing. Zelia patiently kneels on the floor to assist her daughter, and I feel privileged to witness the moment.

ME:  Okay, let’s talk about one of people’s favorite scenes from the book. The Kitty Scratching Post scene.

Zelia: Oh my goodness! That was a stitch and a half! Do you know how many times we had to start that scene over because we were all laughing so hard?

ME:  You know I’m supposed to be hearing back from my friend whose son inspired that scene.

Zelia: I would love to meet that woman! When I found out about the scene, I totally collapsed in my chair giggling. And Griffith thought it sounded like a lot of fun. He loved being the center of attention like that. Seamus was a bit put out because he didn’t think it was fair that he always had to be the “bad guy.” But I pointed out to him that doing his role would be less of a stretch for him that way. He didn’t get it.

ME: (laughing) Poor Seamus!

Zelia: “Poor Seamus” nothing! The kid could con and wheedle his way out of federal prison, which he may end up having to do someday if he doesn’t mend his ways! He already is drawing up a proposal to star in his own children’s book series. He’s convinced it will be a great hit.

ME:  Well, your kids were a bunch of fun to work with. I hope they get opportunities to do more books.

Zelia: Yeah, our whole family had a ton of fun with this project. Can’t wait to finish up the sequel.

ME: Thanks again, Z. You guys are the best.

She walks me to the door, and Cosette hands me the pastel drawing she’d been working on. It’s now hanging above my writing desk, signed, “To our favorite author, Love Cosette Muzuwa.”